Sonic in Love
by CSI Productions
Summary: A chaotic, unruly, unrealistic, and satirical look at the world of Sonic. If it were a game, it'd be on the gamer's choice list, I promise.
1. Experimental Pet Yoshi's

This is for all those miserable sons of bitches who still believe in love. The rest of you can go sit in your tower.

A SONIC the HEDGEHOG fanfic by GINO ORTIZ.

Experimental Pet Yoshi's,

Station Square, afternoon, birds are singing, the sun is glinting off of shiny windowpanes, as skyscrapers stand like towers of crystal. They are all tall, but two stand the tallest, proud and strong, at the center of the cluster of commercial buildings. Directly across the street from each other, by some dumb luck facing each other, enigmatically rubbing noses with each other, the logos: Nintendo, Sega…

For what seemed like either millennia or about twenty years the two had battled epically, but their bout was rapidly coming to a close. Yes folks, the end was indeed very near, and while Sega had fought its battle valiantly, Nintendo CEO Satoru Iwata knew he had won at last.

"Lord Miyamoto!" called Iwata from his ominous throne of solid gold Super Mario World cartridges. "Bring the prisoners before me."

"Yes, master." Always the loyal follower, Shigeru Miyamoto had almost single-handedly led the campaign against Sega. Today was as much his victory as Iwata's, however being the cruel man he was, Iwata had no intention of sharing the glory. Plans to have Miyamoto assassinated were already well underway. Now that he had served his purpose, he was simply too powerful. He had to die.

Miyamoto disappeared through the large, logo-crowned double doors at the end of the hall, and moments later reappeared trailed by several men in chains. Armed guards followed. The group shuffled in solemnly, led by the click of Miyamoto's boots. They all stood before Iwata, waiting for judgment.

Iwata regarded them momentarily. He grimaced and said, "Where is Peter Moore?"

"My lord, it seems Moore managed to flee just before the corporate takeover."

"I see," said Iwata. He thought on this for a second, and then said, "Have him hunted down, and when you catch him have him fed to the experimental pet yoshi's."

"It will be done," said Miyamoto.

"Now, as for the rest of you!" the remainder of Sega's leading men flinched in terror as Iwata turned to them. "You will all be working for me now."

It was then that Sega CEO Tetsu Kayama stepped forward, and bravely said, "You monster! We would never work for you. Our powers are meant for good!"

"Oh," said Iwata, "Well, then I suppose I'll just have to let all of you go."

There was a long, awkward silence before Kayama said, "Really?"

"No, you fool!" cried Iwata. There was a sound like "poik" as the Nintendo tyrant hurled a fireball at the floor. The little swirling projectile bounced right into Kayama's face, and he disappeared in a puff of pixilated white smoke. 100 points floated up to the ceiling.

"Now," said Iwata, "Does anyone else have anything to say?"

The crowd remained uncomfortably silent, their eyes all fixed on the spot where their proud leader had once stood.

"I thought as much," said Iwata, "Now, you will all continue developing Sonic the Hedgehog games for my new consoles, but you will make them hard to control and less enjoyable, with far less engaging storylines, are we clear?"

There was a droning, depressed chorus of agreement.

"You will begin by reviving Shadow the Hedgehog in a hard-to-play, un-engaging team based platformer. You will then give him his own game, in which he will shoot a handgun and ride a motorcycle. We will use this new look to market Nintendo brand cigarettes."

"Sir," said Miyamoto, "Your 3 o'clock is here."

"Very well," said Iwata, "Get these peons out of my sight then."

The guards escorted the Sega members out of the room, and Miyamoto followed them. A minute later, the double doors swung open once more. This time, Nintendo Power Managing Editor Scott Pelland entered. He kneeled respectfully before Iwata and said, "My lord, the fans grow restless. They demand new information on Zelda titles."

"Inform them we have a new game slated for fall. Then, when the deadline approaches, push the date back to sometime in March."

"But my lord, won't this enrage the fans?"

"Precisely," said Iwata, "And their anger will all fall on Lord Miyamoto. He will be torn to shreds."

"I understand sir."

"You are dismissed." Iwata watched gleefully as Scott Pelland left his office. He began to chuckle menacingly, and his laugh echoed down the silvery hall.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Miles "Tails" Prower sat bolt upright in his bed, sweat coming off his fur in sheets. He huffed and puffed heavily, trying to regain his breath. "Oh, it was horrible! What a nightmare! My whole life was just a video game, and strange Japanese men wanted to bring Shadow back to life and give him a handgun. And before that Paul Mccartny was there, and he was singing hey Jude to me… it was sorta scary."

"Tails," said Paul Mccartny, rolling over in bed, "Go back to sleep love."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Miles "Tails" Prower sat bolt upright in bed, sweat coming off his fur in sheets. He huffed and puffed heavily, trying to regain his breath. "Whew… okay, that's it. No more nilla wafer and whipped cream sandwiches before bed."

Lights down, cue the music.

Coming Soon Incorporated Presents

In complete lack of cooperation with Sega of America

SONIC in LOVE

By GINO ORTIZ

It was a day. Nothing special about it. At least, that's how Amy Rose Hedgehog felt. It should have been more than that, she thought. It was Saturday, after all, and it was her opinion that Saturdays existed to do wonderful things, not to go watch boring movies. It was therefore with a heavy heart and a sigh that Amy left Chao In Space part 2 completely unsatisfied with the acting.

"Academy award quality that wasn't," she said to herself, "Roger Ebert, you lying sack of…"

She made her way to the parking lot without looking at anything, really. It was all so dull and boring; her brain forgot to be stimulated by anything she came across. She only snapped back to reality when she stepped in a puddle on accident, getting muddy water all over her shiny red boots.

"A puddle?" she bent down to inspect the muck more closely, "A puddle… it's the middle of June, and it's sunny, and I step in a puddle?"

It was right then that a little pink piece of paper floated into Amy's face, startling her. She tumbled backwards, landing on the cement. "Owwww!" she whined. Amy sat up on the ground and shook off the impact, rubbing her bruised back. She saw the little pink paper, sitting there beside her.

"What are you?" she asked it, picking it up. It read in big black letters:

STATION SQUARE AIR EXPO

11:00 AM to 10:00 PM

TODAY!

WHERE?

STATION SQUARE COLLOSEUM

ADMISSION

Children 12 years and under……………………………..$3.00

Adults 12 years and older………………………………..$6.00

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!

"What's an air expo?" she wondered. Amy got to her feet and dusted off her dress. She took the paper with her as she left the parking lot. "Maybe if I ask someone, they can tell me. Who knows, maybe it'll be something fun."

Amy worked on the logic that fun things usually required an admission fee.

Really fun things required reservations.

Elsewhere…

"I'm telling you, it's all rigged," Knuckles powerful fists madly slammed the joystick back and forth, rocking the whole arcade machine the way 300lb star wars fans do. Beside him, Rouge chuckled as she calmly tapped the big, candy-colored buttons.

"Just because you can't win doesn't mean you need to punish the machine," she said, "After all I'm the one kicking your ass."

"It's gotta be that character you're using, he's clearly broken!" said Knuckles, "I mean, look at him, spinning around with those weird claws. What the fuck? He's like a clown in S&M gear. Isn't it embarrassing to be playing as Todd McFarlane's wet dream?"

"Better than you," said Rouge, "Look at that pretty boy… 'Maxi'! The guy's named after tampons for fucks sake. Ever wonder where he keeps those nunchuks when he's not fighting?"

"Shut up, you're distracting me!" shouted Knuckles, "And by the way, he's not a pretty boy, he's got style! And he keeps the nunchucks on his belt!"

"You're just upset because you paid a quarter to get your ass kicked."

"KO!" announced the machine. Knuckles groaned, and kicked the thing fiercely. The little access door on the front caved under the force of Knuckles' spiked toe, and quarters began to pour out.

"Shit! Run!" Knuckles turned to flee, and Rouge was about to follow him until she saw the wave of quarters. Every shiny disc hit the ground with a cling, and Rouge's sensitive ears told her there were forty bucks easily to be had. She scooped up some quarters with one gloved hand and began to shove them into her pockets. When those were full, she started shoving them into her bra.

"Excuse me," it was a man's voice. Rouge glanced at the arcade manager, even as she continued to scoop up more quarters. It took a moment for the yellow striped polo shirt and name tag to register in her mind. She giggled nervously.

"Oh," she said, to which she added another nervous giggle, "Were you talking to me?"

The arcade manager only glared critically at her. He was a short, stalky man with a thick moustache and no hair. He wore the look of someone who had been working at an arcade since they were seventeen, and were now in their forties.

"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to empty your pockets."

Rouge's eyes flitted around the arcade. The manager was inbetween her and the door. Through the big windows in the front of the place, she could see Knuckles watching with a satisfied grin. She stuck her tongue at him. The manager didn't like it.

"Miss," said the manager sternly, "Your pockets."

"Oh," she said, "But of course."

She smiled through gritted teeth as she began pulling the heaps of quarters from her pockets. Some of the change fell to the ground at her feet, making a racket. When her pockets were _nearly _empty she offered the pile of change to the manager with cupped palms.

"All your pockets," said the manager.

"But, sir…" said Rouge, "I don't have any other pockets."

A quarter decided to leap out of Rouge's cleavage at that moment, and go spinning to the floor. The bat smiled guiltily.

"Well, ah, that's… you see, I keep my laundry money in my…"

"No need to explain ma'am," said the manager, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to call the police."

"Oh, there's no need to call the cops," said Rouge.

"Oh?" replied the manager, "Why not?"

"Because… because…" she stammered. No good lies were coming to her. She looked down at the heap of quarters in her hands, and had an idea. "Because!"

With that, she tossed the whole pile of quarters into the air, and bolted for the door, knocking the manager down as she ran past. She collided with the door violently, throwing it open and rushing out into the street. She was greeted with the sound of Knuckles laughing hysterically.

"Run, you doofus!" cried Rouge, "He's going to call the cops!"

"Shit!"

They dashed down the road, knuckles nearly tripping on an old lady and a kid with a balloon. They rounded the corner, and found themselves in a parking lot. Rouge stopped running, and caught knuckles by a dreadlock as he went past. He stumbled to a halt.

"What did you do that for?"

Rouge laughed, "What did I do that for? What did you kick that arcade machine in the quarter-slot for? You wanna get us arrested! How would that look, us being people who live off the city's pay-check."

"Oh-ho!" Knuckles was good at sarcasm. It made him sound cool, especially since it got him out of things like missing the punchlines to jokes. "Look who's little miss law abiding citizen! You were the one taking the quarters. And earlier, you were shoplifting Nightmare Before Christmas merchandise from hot topic like some kind of wannabe goth."

"It's not illegal to shoplift from stores owned by the gap!" proclaimed Rouge, "Besides, it's the only place you can get Jack Skellington Zippos."

The sound of sirens appeared in the distance.

"Fuck! Okay, look, whatever… we shouldn't be arguing right now, we should just get out of here, Agreed?"

"Ageed."

"Oh, and no more Gap jokes, you're making this fanfic sound like it has some kind of angry political agenda. You don't want to be like the lesbians, do you?"

Rouge, who for the purpose of putting the audience at ease, was a feminist, was just about to inquire what Knuckles meant, and protest his insensitive use of the word 'lesbian' when Amy came running down the street.

"You guys!" cried Amy, approaching them, "Hey, I found this paper, do you guys know what an Air Expo is?"

"Uhm," Rouge thought for a second, "Isn't that that city-funded air race that Tails is competing in. Is that today? Damn, I promised the little guy I'd see it."

"Little guy?" asked Knuckles, "Ha! I bet Tails doesn't like that. He's getting older."

"So?" said Rouge, "I call you little guy behind your back, too."

"Hey!"

"So it's a race?" asked Amy, trying to keep Rouge on the subject, "And Tails has entered? Well, let's go!"

"It started an hour ago," said Rouge.

"So?" said Amy.

The siren sound suddenly became much closer.

"Shit!" said Knuckles, "Okay, maybe that's not a bad idea. Let's go."

"What's going on?" asked Amy.

"We'll explain on the way," said Knuckles, abruptly lifting Amy from the ground. The little hedgehog let out a squeak. Knuckles began to run, Rouge flying beside him.

"What the hell, Knuckles?" cried Amy.

"The cops are after us," explained Knuckles, his eyes on the road ahead.

"The cops!" said Amy.

"Knucklehead kicked an arcade machine right in the quarter slot," said Rouge.

"And then Klepto the Acro-Bat here started to steal quarters instead of run away!" replied Knuckles.

"I gave them back!"

"Except for the ones you stuffed in your shirt."

"That was my laundry money!"

"Eek! I don't wanna go to jail!" screamed Amy.

"Relax," said Knuckles, "You won't. Now where is that Air Expo?"

"The coliseum."

"We'll be there in a flash."

Rouge, Knuckles, and Amy were all now speeding in the direction of the Station Square Air Exposition at the Coliseum, under the impression that the cops were after them. In fact, the sirens they had heard were not those of cars coming for them. Not two blocks south of the Arcade, there was a large bank being robbed at gunpoint. The robbery had been going on for six straight hours, and the police had only now been informed. This high-security bank was taken completely off guard by unidentified characters in black suits and masks.

The criminals in question would not be apprehended at this particular encounter- the robbery would be technically successful, despite an encounter with the cities premiere honorary protector, Sonic the Hedgehog. It would later be found that the only thing stolen during the robbery would be a small red ruby being held at the bank under the name Ovi Kintobor.

The significance of the name would be overlooked by the powers that be. The authorities would miss the major clues.

Sonic marked the incident off as a loss, and went to the Air Expo himself, although an hour and a half later than Tails had asked him to be there.


	2. Sally

Sally,

Sonic's finger hovered beside the array of shiny plastic buttons until he selected the one he wanted. The black number 4 lit up as he pressed it, and the elevator started to move. Casually, the hedgehog leaned back against the wall.

"Do you think they'll like me?" the girl in the elevator with Sonic was Princess Sally Acorn of the royal Acorn Family. She was a chipmunk, and he had met her only several days ago whilst out and about adventuring in the Acorn Empire. Sonic was bringing her to meet some of his closest friends.

"Don't sweat it," said Sonic, "They'll like you fine. We're an easy-going bunch."

"Okay," she replied.

The elevator took them up to the fourth floor, its doors sliding open with a ding and a scrape. Sonic led Sally out into the boring beige hallway with brown carpet. Static white lights lined the ceiling, keeping the hallway illuminated with a sterile glow. Sonic took her down the hallway to a door marked 15 in thin black numbers below the little peep-hole. Sonic knocked.

The sound of videogames and rock music poured out of the door as it opened. Knuckles stood there in the entrance, glaring at them. "Oh, Sonic, I thought you were the pizza guy."

"Hey Sonic!" called Tails. He was sitting on an old brown couch in the front room of the apartment, an Xbox controller in his hands. He was busily tapping buttons, delighting in some of Ayane's higher kicks on the big screen in front of him. Rouge sat beside him, enveloped in the game completely.

"Hey!" said Sonic, stepping into the room, "Everyone, this is Princess Sally Acorn."

"Hey, Sally, I'm Knuckles," said Knuckles, extending one of his giant hands. She took it and shook it daintily.

"Pleased to meet you," she murmured.

"That's Tails and Rouge," said Knuckles, pointing at the couch "Don't mind them, they're sort of into the game right now."

"I see."

"Isn't anyone going to introduce me?" Amy had just entered the room. She bounded over to Sally and extended her hand. "That's okay, I'll do it myself. I'm Amy Rose; it's a pleasure to meet you Princess!"

"Oh, hello…" began Sally, reaching for Amy's hand. Sonic stepped between them.

"Hey, Amy, give the girl some room to breathe!" said Sonic, then he turned to Sally and added, "That's Amy, she's a little bit out there, try to ignore her."

"Hey, I have ears you know!" complained Amy.

"Sonic," said Knuckles, changing the subject, "You have to check out this website, man, Tails was showing me. They've got this video of some guys who blow up a honeydew melon with some fireworks; it's pretty badass."

"Sounds educational," said Sonic, following Knuckles out of the room. Sally watched him go, helplessly.

"That's okay," said Amy, "Those guys are lame anyway. Now it's just us girls."

"What about me," said Tails, his eyes not leaving the TV screen.

"Aww, Tails, you don't count."

"Hey!"

"C'mon Sally," said Amy, taking the princess' hand, "You can sit with us. We're playing DOA until the pizza gets here. Then we're gonna watch a movie."

"Oh… okay…" said Sally nervously, following Amy's lead. Amy sat her on the couch beside tails, and then pulled up another chair beside them. Sally watched a bit disinterestedly as Tails and Rouge continued to tap buttons, willing the fight on the TV forward.

"Ha! I've got you!" cried Tails suddenly. The screen flashed as the fox landed one final blow. Rouge groaned.

"My turn!" cried Amy.

"Ah well," said Rouge, tossing Amy the controller, "You win some, you lose some. I wanted another drink anyway." With that, the bat seized a glass of wine from the coffee table between the TV and the couch.

"So, Sally," said Rouge, "Tell us about yourself."

"You're going down Tails!"

"You wish!"

"Well, um…" began Sally, "Let's see. I guess I really don't know where to begin. No one's ever asked before."

"Oh, that's okay," said Rouge, sipping her wine, "Just say whatever. We all have stories to tell."

"I suppose," replied Sally, "It's just I'm not used to this sort of thing."

"Okay, okay," said Rouge, "We'll make it simpler. What do you do for fun?"

"Oh," said Sally, "Well, I enjoy attending parties. And films can be quite nice. There's a fish pond at the palace which I'm quite fond of as well…"

"You said you like movies," said Rouge, eager to find some common ground, "What type of movies?"

"Well," said Sally, "Dramas are delightful. I enjoy anything which can captivate real-life struggles… the emotions some actors can convey are simply amazing. Why, when I saw "Gone With the Wind", I was absolutely breathe taken…"

"What about like slasher flicks?" asked Tails.

"Pardon?" asked Sally.

"You know," said Tails, without looking away from the TV of course, "Slasher flicks. Scream, Psycho, Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Friday the Thirteenth!"

"I don't believe I've seen any of those…"

"Aww, man, you've never seen Psycho?" cried Tails, "That's a classic. The scene in the shower… I saw it when I was five, and I wouldn't take a bath for weeks."

"I remember," said Amy, "You smelled like Sonic's sock."

"It's Sonic and Knuckles' faults for letting him watch that trash," said Rouge, "They've poisoned the poor child!"

"Hey, I'm nearly sixteen!"

"You weren't nearly sixteen when you were five," said Rouge, "So I really don't see your point. And you're still a kid."

"You're just mad because you paid $5.75 to rent this game and get your ass kicked."

"You little shit!"

Sally gasped.

"That's okay, Sally," said Amy, "I don't like those kind of movies either."

"Here comes my finishing move, Amy!" cried Tails, his fingers a blur across the Xbox controller. Amy pouted.

"Aww…" she sighed with defeat, "Here you go Sally, your turn. Beat him for me."

"Oh that's okay," said Sally.

"No, go ahead," said Amy, "Don't be shy, you can play too."

"No, really, I mustn't…" said Sally.

"It's alright, Sally," said Tails, "I'll go easy on you."

"It's not that," said Sally.

"What's the matter then?" asked Tails.

"Well," Sally hesitated a moment, then said, "I don't care much for video games."

The room went silent. There was a small crystalline sound as Rouge dropped her wineglass and it shattered on the floor, adding one more stain to the already ravaged carpet. Tails and Sally's eyes met, and he raised one eyebrow at her.

**_"You what?"_**

Lights down, cue the music.

Coming Soon Incorporated Presents

In complete lack of cooperation with Sega of America

SONIC in LOVE

By GINO ORTIZ

Chapter 2,

The hangar was quiet and dark when Tails arrived. It was five in the morning, and he'd been up for an hour and a half already, to catch the early train from the mystic ruins into the city. He wasn't tired. In fact, he had barely slept. The excitement was simply too much. Today was the big day: the Station Square Air Expo, the most important event of the year for stunt pilots in the area. Tails had his eye set on first place.

He could imagine it: the fame, the fortune. Winning the race would land the fox the publicity he needed to start his own professional workshop, with sponsored planes and everything. Also, it would kick-start his inventing business if he could get his name recognized in the aviation field. Not to mention how nice it would feel to be in the spotlight for a change.

It wasn't precisely that Tails was jealous of Sonic, it was just that Tails was sixteen now. There are certain things on a sixteen year old boy's list of priorities- no matter race, creed or fur color- which are hard to acquire when everyone thinks of you as 'the little buddy'. Hanging on Sonic's arm was cool when he was five, but at sixteen it was sort of pathetic.

Never-the-less, Tails did live a life of fame under Sonic's wing, and like all famous people, Tails could afford to compensate for his shortcomings with fancy cars. Or, in his case, planes. And the Tornado was one hell of a plane.

The custom 'x-wing' design would make the plane the sleekest, most innovative stunt craft to date. With the ability to compensate for extreme wind conditions, the aptly named Tornado was capable of sustaining flight in tropical storms. Its engines, powered by synthetic chaos gems, were capable of putting out twice the horsepower of most standard stunt craft on the market. Also, Tails manufacturing methods could, theoretically, build the things and make a profit substantial enough to pay off all the George Lucas copyright infringement suits.

This was the key to not being little-buddy anymore. This was the way out. The plane was Tails' own personal, rigid, steel security blanket.

However, Tails primary motivation laid in the things a 16 year old wants that he couldn't seem to get. The foremost of which being a female. This was a fascination that had been brooding for some time now, and could not be easily silenced. It had all started with a story Knuckles had told Sonic in front of him…

It was just after one of Eggman's most devastating attacks on Station Square. The damage was horrible, and for some time the area would not be livable. However, the rebuilding process was kicked in to high gear in support of Sonic and his friends. The group personally agreed to help with the reconstruction, a diplomatic sort of arrangement which Sonic and his companions had thought to be limited to a superficial once over of a few construction sites for moral support. Knuckles had been the only one to handle well the actuality of lifting heavy cinder blocks and operating machinery.

They were all eating lunch together.

"Dude," Knuckles said. He used to say that a lot. "Okay, so it was like a commercial or something. You know, like for body spray or something? I was just walking by with this block of concrete on my shoulder, and this lady cat walks by and she's giving me that eye, you know? So I stop to take a look, and she's gorgeous. We're talking the whole shebang, round thighs, perfect chest, soft lavender hair. She looks at me, and she like smiles, and I smile back, right? But the thing is, I'm still walking, so I turn and WHAM! Right into a metal crossbeam. I dropped the cinder block and fell on my ass. I got up and looked back, and she was looking at me, and I waved, and then she started laughing at me. It was sort of embarrassing."

"You're such a sad story, Knuckles," said Sonic, coolly, "But I guess we can't all have the same luck as me when it comes to the ladies."

"Being chased by children in pink headbands?" offered Knuckles.

"No, cock-knocker," replied Sonic, dryly, "I have the moves. Let's face it, I'm the cool one. Every girl has a poster of me on her wall."

"Hah!" Knuckles laughed, "You don't read the papers do you? You're out this year, blue-balls. It's all about the supporting cast these days. You just don't have the image."

"What are you talking about?" cried Sonic, "I AM the image. Sonic _the _Hedgehog! I'm a damned household name."

"That's not the kind of image people want these days!" said Knuckles, "You're right, you're an institution, and these days that's out. You represent what people are used to, and they're sick of that. I don't mean to be so hard on you, but its best you realize it."

"Okay, dumb-ass," said Sonic, "I'll give you one chance to explain to me what the fuck you are talking about."

"Okay, look, it's like this… Tails, he's the cute one. See? Look at him. Cute. Me, I'm the tough guy. See the spikes on my hands? Tough. And Shadow? He was the badboy."

"Yeah, and he was totally emo," said Tails.

"Totally," Knuckles nodded, "And as for the girls, Rouge is the temptress, Amy is the princess, and Cream is the innocent one. You on the other hand… well, you're Johnny hero. Face it, that's stale."

"What about Omega and Big?" asked Tails.

"Who?" asked Knuckles.

"I'm the rebel!"

"No, that's Shadow," said Knuckles, "Can't you pay attention?"

"You're so full of shit," said Sonic, "I'm still cool! I'll always be cool!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Sonic," said Knuckles, "But it's true. Even Tails can probably get more action than you. How about it, Tails?"

"I… uh…"

"Tails hasn't even had a girlfriend yet!" said Sonic, "Man, why are you such an asshole?"

"Me?" Knuckles looked shocked, "You're the asshole, man! Show some respect for the poor kid."

"I don't think Tails is the one being disrespected!" cried Sonic, "Don't you think that maybe, just maybe, telling me that I'm unpopular and pathetic is a little bit of a dick thing to do?"

"I'm just saying, man," said Knuckles, "You need to get with the times. Maybe you need to find your niche. I know, maybe you're the gay one! We don't have one of those yet."

"Oh that's it!"

As Knuckles and Sonic fought, Tails paid no attention. His mind was lost in what Knuckles had been saying. Women… he'd been noticing them lately. They made him feel like he needed to go lie down if he looked at them too long. And it was hard not to look at them. Indeed, something about the big hemi-spheres they carted around on their chests was intoxicating. Rouge in particular, with her tight-fit wardrobe, and considerable bosom size, had captivated the young foxes mind. He found it hard to look her in the eye whilst he talked to her.

Of course, it had been several years since then, and much to Tails' dismay things had not changed much. The problem was that no girls seemed to realize that time didn't stand still, and Tails was getting older.

There was a metallic noise like a lock coming open, and Tails lifted his head too quickly, hitting it on the flight console. Swearing under his breath, the young fox poked his head out of the Tornado's cockpit and took a look around the hangar. Clipping across the room in the direction of the Tornado was a black bird in a brown bomber jacket. He reached into his pocket, removing a pack of cigarettes, which he flipped open with his thumb. Casually, he fed one into his beak, and then replaced the pack in his pocket and began rummaging for a lighter. He found one, put it at the end of his cigarette, and lit it flawlessly. He was exhaling smoke by the time he got to Tails.

"Miles Prower?" asked the bird, before Tails could say anything.

"Yes…" said Tails.

"As I understand, you're competing in the expo today," said the bird, "Nice plane."

"Thanks," said Tails, "Who are you?"

"A kid like you ought to be careful flying in such a dangerous race," said the bird, "You might get hurt."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, nothing," said the bird, "Just a friendly warning. Be seeing you."

"Wait!" Tails called, but the bird was already turning to leave. The fox leapt out of the plane as quick as he could, and chased the bird across the room. The bird, however, had already reached the hangar exit. Tails followed the bird through the door, but he found himself alone in an empty hallway.

A bit shaken and very annoyed, Tails went back to finish working on his plane.

The Station Square coliseum was a big, oval-shaped arena with tall bleachers, and a ring of small shops, food stands and the like at the top. The entrance consisted of a grand lobby, and beyond that a small mall of shops and restaurants as well as a convention floor and two substantial hotels built right in to the coliseum. Below the coliseum, sub-structures housed the necessary space for sporting events ranging from ice hockey to open air plane races; A very versatile environment. It had cost the city millions.

Consequently, when Knuckles entered the huge glass front doors, he found himself staring at a road block. There, above a long counter lined with windows, twenty-two brightly lit marquees each read the same thing.

ADMISSION FEE:

Adults…..$6

Children..$3

"There's an admission fee?"

"Of course there's an admission fee! Haven't you learned anything? It's a city funded event. Remember the last time we went to a city funded event, we had to pay $35 bucks a piece for dinner at our own awards ceremony."

Knuckles shrugged off Rouge's criticism, and continued glaring up at the big marquee half-heartedly.

"How am I supposed to afford that? I live by myself on an Island!"

"It's only six dollars," chimed Amy.

"Yuppie," replied Knuckles.

"I'm an orphan, you jerk!" cried Amy, "And I was about to offer to buy you a ticket, but you can just forget about it."

The girl-hog turned her nose up and let it lead her as she stormed away. Knuckles watched grudgingly.

"All orphans should have $80 SOAP Shoes," said Knuckles, quietly, "Now… how am I going to get into this thing?"

"Don't worry," said Rouge, "I got ya."

"You sure?"

"Well, I will have to dip into my laundry money," she said, "But what the hell."

"Aww," said Knuckles, "I feel bad. You shouldn't have to."

"Don't feel bad!" she said, "After all, one of us has to do the manly thing and pay for the dainty little lady. Even if it's the only one of us with a vagina."

Rouge only stayed long enough to see the look on Knuckles face, and then she was gone in a flash. She dashed towards the ticket counter, leaving Knuckles to chase her. Behind her, she heard him yelling, "Get back here you dirty flying rat!"

The bat ducked under the rope in front of the ticket counter, and dashed up to the window. Behind it, a cat in a blue striped uniform was chewing gum and lazily flipping through a magazine. "Two please," Rouge said, and the cat didn't look up.

"$12," said the cat.

Rouge scooped some quarters onto the counter, just as Knuckles arrived. He stopped behind her, realizing that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to punch her through the ticket window. He watched as the bat counted out twelve dollars in quarters, and pushed it through the little hole in the counter window. The cat girl popped her gum, scooped the money into the till with one hand, and simultaneously retrieved two tickets and slid them back out at Rouge.

Rouge took them and handed one to Knuckles.

"There you go, big guy."

"Thanks," he said. There was barely a pause before he added, "Hey Rouge?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't $12 kind of a lot of laundry money to have stuffed into your bra?"

The bat looked confused for a moment, and then distraught. She blushed and said, "Shut the hell up!"

Knuckles had already walked past her and through the turnstile though. The click of her boots echoed as she ran after him.

The hedgehog remembered that he was an hour or so late, which made him paranoid that he'd missed the action. He was too proud to ask anyone, and too impatient to wait in line and get a program.

"Hey Sonic!"

The Hedgehog's first mistake was relaxing. He knew who he was. He was famous! Everyone knew who he was. So it wasn't safe to let his guard down in public. That was precisely how they got you. One day you were lying down on a beach chair sipping lemonade and reading magazine articles about yourself, the next day, bam! Some squealing fan girl has a diamond ring on her finger, and Sonic the Hedgehog has a shiny new ball and chain tied to his leg, slowin' him down. He was slipping in his age though, and Amy had caught him off guard.

"Ahh!" he cried, jerking out of his slouch on the uncomfortable steel bleacher. He had just about fallen asleep with his head in his hand. His leg seemed to have drifted off without him. Thus far the air expo had been incredibly boring. There had been nothing but a few antiques putting around the sky, and some crop-duster doing slow loop-d-loops. Tails had promised Sonic racing! He had promised him speed! Action!

Tails had NOT promised him Amy.

"A… my…?" squeaked Sonic. He let his eyes slowly navigate the rest of his head in a nervous, hesitant turn.

"What's up Sonic? You look like you saw a ghost," said Amy.

"No," said Sonic, "Just you."

"Don't be a jerk!" said Amy, taking a seat next to him, "It makes you sound like you're trying to be Shadow."

"What's that supposed to mean?" growled Sonic.

Amy recoiled slightly, scooting one celebrated inch away from Sonic. The little pink girl-hog said very crossly, "Well, I thought it was pretty straightforward."

"Are you trying to call me a wimp?"

"No," said Amy, thoughtfully, "I'm trying to call you sensitive."

"That's worse!" Sonic buried his head in his hands.

"See. You're emotional too."

"Shut up!"

"And defensive."

"You sound just like Knuckles," sighed Sonic.

"Knuckles?" Amy perked up, "Whoa, Sonic. I thought you were fighting about these kinds of things with a girl, but Knuckles? Whatever man… maybe I've been barking up the wrong tree…"

"Wait, YOU thought I was fighting about stuff with a girl?" said Sonic, "Who?"

"Well, you know, that… Sally or whoever," said Amy, "Aren't you seeing her or something. She's here you know. And I thought that you were fighting since you were sitting here alone."

"Sally's here?" said Sonic, "Really?"

"See?" said Amy, "You ARE seeing her."

"I'm not!" said Sonic.

"Sonic," said Amy, "I saw you kiss her."

"I told you," he explained, "Those were… peculiar circumstances. Believe me, do you think I'd lie to you of all people if I weren't available anymore."

"Oh?" said Amy, "Well we'll see about that."

"What do you mean?"

"Knuckles and rouge are at the royal booth right now, visiting. And they should be back with the Princess in any minute," said Amy.

"Oh shit!" cried Sonic, "She'll be here any minute? My quills are all oily. Do I smell? I was running earlier… well, duh… but…"

"Ha!" cried Amy, "Caught you! You're babbling like a confused schoolgirl."

"No, that's not what's going on…" said Sonic, glancing over his shoulder. Far up at the top of the tiers of bleachers, coming down the stairs slowly and elegantly- or at least one of them came down that way, and the others were hindered to an impatient, crawling amble in her wake –Rouge, Knuckles, and Princess Sally Acorn. "There they are!" cried Sonic, turning right back around in his seat. Amy snickered.

"I just love watching you squirm," said Amy, "It's SO cute."

Sonic waited what felt like weeks, unable to even watch the painfully slow march down the stairs. Since he and Sally had kissed, things had changed quite a bit. For example, he was nervous as hell around her, and she was infatuated with her ability to make him blush. Amy Rose hedgehog, who had become an unfortunate part of the otherwise happy occasion of Sonic's royal romance, seemed to have gone completely insane. And Sonic wasn't sure that Sally could take Amy, if she had to.

"Hello, Sonic," said Sally very quietly.

"Oh… Sally… hi…" Sonic looked as though he were going to say something, then stopped, then started again, and then stopped. "How are you?" he spat, finally.

"Good," she nodded, "How are you?"

Sonic smiled, paused a little too long, "Oh! Uh… fine, fine, good… just, you know, here to see Tails. Little guy is pretty enthusiastic…"

"Yes, so am I," said Sally, "Young Tails invited me personally to the event. He said I would probably like the 'boring' parts."

"Did he now?" Sonic made a mental note to kill Tails for not saying anything.

"Yes," said Sally, "And I was inclined to accept, seeing as how I was also personally invited by the mayor of Station Square."

"So are you staying in town tonight?" asked Sonic, more comfortably.

"Yes, I have a suite."

"A suite?" sonic brightened.

"Yes, with my mother and father," said Sally.

"Oh," Sonic slouched a bit, "Well, you should hang out with us for awhile."

"That is why I am here," said Sally, "To 'hang out' with you and your friends."

"Oh," chuckled Sonic, "Of course."

"Hi, Sally," said Amy, darkly, offering the princess her hand. Sally took it reluctantly and gave it a small shake.

"Amy… how do you do?"

"Oh, you know," said Amy, "These summer nights can be _lonely _sometimes, but it's nothing I can't handle."

"Sounds dreadful," said Sally, hesitantly.

"Oh, it's not that bad," said Amy, "But then I guess you wouldn't know."

"I'm sure I don't follow…"

"I'm sure too," replied Amy, "Living in a castle all your life is very different than being an orphan."

"I never said it wasn't!" remarked Sally.

"Girls, girls," cried Knuckles, putting himself between them, "Calm down! We're not here to fight, so relax."

"Has anyone seen Tails?" asked Rouge.

"Not yet!" said Sonic, "Been looking for him all morning."

"I saw him," said Sally, "Down on the field, working on his plane earlier."

"We oughta go looking for him," said Sonic.

"That won't be necessary," said Knuckles, who had become bored and let his attention wonder, "He's right there."

The Echidna pointed one spiked mitt up the stairs behind him. The group pivoted to look. There, about half way up the steps, and descending at a slow run, Miles Prower looked urgent.

"You guys!" called Tails, leaping over the last few bleachers between he and his friends, practically tripping, "You guys! Something strange is going on here."

"You're telling me!" replied Sonic, "Where's the racing? Where's the action?"

"No, not that, Sonic," said Tails, "I mean this morning, this weird bird came up to me and told me to be careful."

"What do you mean?" asked Sonic.

"I told you!" said Tails, "He told me to be careful, and that racing was dangerous for a 'kid' like me. And I was about to say, 'hey, I'm almost 17 and…"

"That doesn't sound like a friendly chat," said Rouge, "That sounds like a threat."

"…yeah and I'm not really a _kid, _so…"

"Did you tell security?" asked Sonic, "Did they catch him? Question him?"

"No," said Tails, "I didn't think it was such a big deal…"

"Did he leave the coliseum?" asked Knuckles, his fists clenched.

"I don't know…" said Tails, "He disappeared, so he could be anywhere in here."

"We'd better look into it," said Sonic.

"Of course," agreed Rouge, "Being who we are, we can't afford to ignore these kinds of things."

"I just want to smash something up," said Knuckles, "Might as well make that impulse useful."

"Tails," said Amy, "What did this guy even look like?"

"He was a bird," said Tails, "A black bird in a brown bomber jacket and sunglasses. He looked… like he thought he was cool or something."

"Okay," said Sonic, "Knux, Rouge, you've got the detective thing. Me and Tails are going to head to the Tornado and make sure that it hasn't been sabotaged."

"Whoa there Team Leader," said Knuckles, mockingly, "I'm a treasure hunter, not a detective, and I'm the muscle so I should be the one watching out for Tails. So you and Rouge go do the detective thing and me and Tails will go check the Tornado."

"Hey, who says you get to call the shots, Knucklehead?"

"Ugh! I hate it when you two do this, you sound like you're married," cried Rouge, "Look, why don't you avoid the measuring contest and just rock, paper, scissors for it."

Knuckles and Sonic exchanged glances, and simultaneously shrugged. Knuckles raised his giant fist out before him, and Sonic did the same. "One… two… three…" they counted.

Knuckles' fist remained closed, but Sonic's didn't. His index and middle fingers snapped out into an imaginary pair of scissors. He saw his own hand and acted as if he were surprised, then rapidly tried to change his answer.

"Ha!" cried Knuckles, "Rock smashes scissors. Tails, c'mon, show me where the Tornado is. Sonic, Rouge, you know what to do."

They each nodded, Sonic a little less eagerly.

"Okay guys," said Knuckles, "Meet back here quick as possible to report anything. Let's go."

Without another word, the group of seasoned heroes departed, leaving Amy and Sally standing together in the bleachers.

Amy turned away from sally and flopped down on the bleacher, holding her chin in her palms glumly. "We… I guess it's just _us girls_."

By the beach in Station Square, there is a small factory building which dispatches thirty some odd unmarked diesel trucks per week, full of weapons, to be traded on the underground market. The 'business' is run by a Lion of rather questionable moral beliefs, his name is Zinzeph Lionheart, and his biggest customer has been, until this morning, a large mustachioed sociopath by the name of Dr. Ivo Robotnik.

However, Zinzeph is a very cowardly Lion. And when a mysterious stranger came along with a plot to sell the good Dr. down river, under the condition that Zinzeph not ask questions, and in exchange for a very large some of money… well, let's just say this Lion's courage could be bought.

The matter at hand now was ensuring the success of the plan. There was the mere formality now of his new clients business at the Station Square Air Expo. The villain reclined in his squat brown leather office chair, sucking cigar smoke through the thick teeth of his dumb grin. With one pudgy, pin-tipped finger, the lion pressed a small button on the keyboard of his personal computer.

In Station Square coliseum, in a deep and forgotten storage room, something woke up.


	3. Professionals

Author's note: Ok, so I really think this whole Author's note thing is a load of BS- I want to say right now that I don't advocate long personal introductions before stories. SO let's keep it sweet. This is a disclaimer, I don't want my work deleted from so I wanted to be up front and say that this isn't for kids. Sonic and friends will be dealing with adult situations, particularly drug use, in this chapter. Now it's only a bit of marijuana if that helps any of you but if you are offended by anything you read here please, please instead of getting mad and reporting me just don't read it. Ok? Ok.

-Gino C.

Professionals,

"They come to me and they ask me," said Sonic, exhaling the marijuana. The joint he held was burning silently, the zig-zag he'd rolled it with now a deep golden brown- a sweet color, the color of syrup over buttermilk pancakes. "They say, 'Sonic, can you please describe to me what the city pays you for."

"And you say smoking pot and eating chili dogs, right?" Knuckles cackled as he took the joint from Sonic. He pressed the little burning thing to his lips and drew in some smoke, then tried to laugh again and ended up coughing.

"No, Knucklejob," scowled Sonic, "I say, 'I get paid for stopping the badguys, and she says… the reporter, she says… she says…"

"Wait, I know this one," Tails was seated on the couch beside them, his eyes focused on the TV screen. Today's game was a solo romp, the fox had elected to spend happy hour tokin' with his friends and playing Ocarina of Time. It was truly momentous for him to dust off the old N64. These were high times.

"Is this the one where she smacks you and tells you that you're in the wrong hotel room?"

"Will you fuckers let me tell the story myself," said Sonic, to which he added, "And no, that was last Sunday when I was chasing that purse-snatcher through the Casino District. This time, she said, 'don't the police do that'?"

There was a long silence. Sonic glared expectantly at Knuckles, who began to giggle, then at Tails, whose eyes were burning little holes in the television screen. Finally, Tails said, "So?"

"So?" Sonic looked shocked, "_So_? This is _your _job I'm talking about too. Don't you find that offensive?"

"No," said Tails, "Why would I, she has a point. And this heartpiece is up real high."

"Knuckles, back me up here!" demanded Sonic. The Echidna laughed.

"The press can fuck off, man," said Knuckles, "It's all just a conspiracy for the man to try to keep us down. Don't feel guilty just because your paycheck comes from city hall."

"You're sort of right, but you're still missing the point," said Sonic, "It's that I for one feel like I earn my money. I mean, look at me! I'm a decent, hard-working Mobian, I do my part for society. And when Egghead comes around and stirs shit up, who answers the call? Sonic and friends, that's right!"

"First of all, don't call us Sonic and friends;" said Knuckles, "It makes us sound like some sort of gay drive in restaurant."

"You know what," said Sonic, "Your problem is you don't have any respect for your own job. The press is trying to bring our station in this society into question. What next? You may have your little island to go to, but guess what man: for us its here or the streets."

"The streets?" Knuckles laughed, "If Vector heard you say that he would backhand you. You don't know the first thing about the streets."

"My ass!" yelled Sonic, "I spend every day with the criminal element. I seen some shit man."

"Oh my god, you guys both sound like a couple of old women," said Tails, "Why don't you both go run for city counsel or some shit. Just shut up, I'm trying to read what Kapora Gabora has to say, and the letters scroll fast."

"Criminal element!" Knuckles laughed, "What about you, pothead?"

"Hey, shut up!" Sonic fumed, "You have no room to talk anyway! What do you think the government would have to say about your little farm up on Angel Island?"

"First of all, those are medicinal, and…"

"Hahaha! Did you hear that Tails?"

"What?"

"Knuckles says his plants back on Angel Island are for 'medicinal purposes'!"

The fox stewed over the sentence for a moment, still reluctant to give attention away from the tv screen. Finally, the right neurons fired, and Tails cracked a grin which promptly gave way to a fit of tearful laughter.

"And secondly," yelled Knuckles, trying to drown out Tails' laughter, "Angel Island is not a part of this nation. It's an independent country and I'm its sole inhabitant and ruler."

"Oh, you're royalty now, huh?"

"Sonic, shut the fuck up," said Knuckles, passing the joint Tails way. The fox wasn't paying any attention. "Tails… Tails… Tails… Tails…"

"What?"

"Hit this."

There was a chime, and on the tv a glowing menu screen appeared. With one hand Tails took the joint, and sucked in a cloud of smoke.

"C'mon Knuckles," Sonic persisted, "You've at least got to back me up when I say that the world doesn't have the same respect for us it used to."

Tails exhaled in a fit of coughs. His left hand went to his mouth, while his right extended the still burning joint Sonic's direction.

"That was fucking huge, Tails," Knuckles laughed.

"Why don't you ever listen to what _I_ have to say?" Sonic crossed his arms and scowled. He would have slouched into the couch had it been possible for him to slouch any further than he had already.

"You know what Sonic, you're absolutely right," said Knuckles, "The world probably doesn't have the same respect for us it used to. And it probably has everything to do with you asking me questions like _that _one in public."

"Oh grow up!" Sonic, who had over years of hanging out with Knuckles still not gotten used to losing control of the situation, was more than a little frustrated. "You're the one who can't get off the damned gay jokes. Real mature."

"I dunno Sonic," Said Tails, "That did sound pretty gay."

"Even he thinks you sound gay."

"I don't sound gay!" screamed Sonic, "Now this is why no one takes us seriously man. Every time I'm fucking trying to say something all you two can do is sit there and cackle like a bunch of hyenas."

"_Hey_," said Knuckles, "My best friend's a hyena!"

"I thought _I_ was your best friend!" said Tails.

"Hey, you're _my_ best friend asshole!" spat Sonic.

"Now _this _sounds gay."

Sonic was about to respond to Knuckles when a sharp knock on the apartment door cut him off. It was followed by a shout.

"Pizza!"

"Oh, shit, the pizza!" cried Sonic, tripping over the coffee table on his way to the door. He skidded across the carpet and threw the door open. On the other side, a skinny human boy with a greasy face was standing with a steaming 'oven-fresh' bag nestled in his scrawny arms. The Hedgehog, tall as the boy's chest, stared up at him through red eyes.

"Oh, thanks man!" said Sonic, grabbing the pizza. He went to close the door.

"Wait!" cried the pizza boy, "The money!"

"Oh, shit," said Sonic, "Hey, Knux, where's the money?"

"Did you check your pocket?"

"I'm wearing nothing but running shoes, I don't have any pockets retard."

"Did you check your running shoes?"

Sonic had a moment of slow and very stoned contemplation before he knelt down and shoved two gloved fingers into his sock. Sure enough, two neatly folded twenties were nestled therein. He shoved them at the pizza boy, slamming the door with only just enough time to say, "Tips included."

Sonic walked back to the living room, set the pizza on the table, and took his seat. "Alright, kids," said Sonic, "Dinner time!"

The hedgehog threw the pizza lid open and seized a slice, Tails and Knuckles following in kind. Sonic leaned back in his chair, steaming pepperoni in hand, and said, "Now, like I was saying…"

There was a moment of quiet as Tails and Knuckles gazed expectantly at Sonic. Tails already had a piece of pizza halfway into his mouth, and he'd paused his chewing in anticipation. The hedgehog looked stunned.

"What were we talking about?"

Dazed, red eyed glances were exchanged. The group shrugged in unison and went back to eating.

"Hey, you guys," said Tails, eventually, "We're animals right?"

"Riiight…" said Knuckles, taking another bite.

"Well, what's in Pepperoni?"

Sonic and Knuckles both stopped chewing and exchanged glances.

"Oi never ought of it ike that," said Sonic through a mouthful of pizza. Knuckles swallowed, and shook his head.

"Well, it's not the same thing we're different," said Knuckles.

"How?" asked Tails, skeptically.

"Well," said Knuckles, and though he looked to be at a loss, he drew himself up to his whole meager height and said, "Because… we're professionals."

Lights down, cue the music.

Coming Soon Inc. Presents

In Complete Lack of Cooperation with Sega of America

SONIC IN LOVE

By

Gino C.

Chapter 3

Some Months Prior:

"What's that?" said Zinzeph, pointing one stubby golden finger at the monitor.

"What's what?" next to him, standing quite taller, a black jackal was glaring down at the little glowing screen too. He was clad in a suit, and not wearing a particularly pleasant expression. A katana dangled at his side. He wore the weapon as easily as a business man wears a Rolex.

"That blue streak that speeds by."

"Sonic the Hedgehog…" the third voice belonged to a human, although only technically. Most humans did not look anything like giant eggs on stilts but Dr. Ivo Robotnik looked more like one than he did like a man. On a larger screen, which took up the better part of the wall beyond the monitor the two were watching, the Dr. was displayed sitting at some cool steel console within the confines of his lair and as of yet undetermined location. Robotnik had not yet shown himself before Zinzeph in person.

"He's too fast for the naked eye," said the Jackal, looking up at the Dr.

"Sonic, huh?" said Zinzeph, "He can really move."

On the monitor, there was a blaze of blue quills as Sonic tore through some Robotnik robots and eventually landed in front of the camera. The Hedgehog gave a smile and a rude gesture, and then the camera went black apparently due largely to a heavy impact with Sonic's foot.

"He's got an attitude," remarked the Jackal, narrowing his eyes.

"He's the fastest thing alive," snapped Robotnik, "And he has a certain affinity for messing up my plans. So I want you to both be extremely careful with security on my shipments. I warn you, though his antics are juvenile and vulgar, that Hedgehog is crafty."

"It's not a problem, not a problem at all!" barked Zinzeph, his dusty mane shaking. He took the cigar from his mouth, and exhaled a puff of smoke, "We treat all of our client's purchases with only the most premium care. Rest assured: no speedy hedgehogs are getting into our trucks. I'm sure my partner here will agree…"

"This Sonic the Hedgehog," said the Jackal, interrupting, "You and he have a… personal vendetta?"

"I cannot see how that is any of your business," spat the Dr. "You have my payment and my orders, now if you want the rest of your money get to work. I'm a very busy man, and I must take my leave of you… gentle-creatures. And Zinzeph, do not disappoint me."

The screen flashed and the Dr was gone. On the little monitor, the surveillance tape of Sonic continued to loop again and again. Zinzeph stood up, dusted the ash of his coat, and took another pull off his cigar.

"Well, he's the strangest psychopath we've had to deal with yet," remarked the Lion, turning away from the monitor and heading for the door. The Jackal followed him, his eyes lingering a bit longer on the dark screen where Sonic had been moments ago.

"Think we can dupe him?" asked Zinzeph.

"Robotnik is a fool," said the Jackal.

Outside of the computer room was a long hallway, one side of which consisted entirely of windows. Outside, the emerald coast wound its way out to the horizon across a graveyard of sunset oranges and reds.

Stepping into the brilliant sunset light, Zinzeph took another pull off his cigar.

"What about that Sonic character?"

"The Hedgehog won't be a problem. Leave him to me."

More Recently:

Sirens!

Sonic came crashing through the window with a spinning jump, his soft quills made like razors by the simple force of his spin. Skidding on impervious heels the Hedgehog came to a halt on the lobby floor of the First Bank of Station Square and you could almost hear the sonic boom.

Directly ahead of him, behind the teller desk, three black suited things with shiny spiked heads and visors reminiscent of motorcycle helmets. One was apparently looking at him, a tentative worry confirmed when the figure raised a rifle and aimed for Sonic, but by the time the bullets were fired it was way too late. Guns were _so _slow, thought Sonic.

"Over here!"

The Swiss-cheese trail of bullet holes followed Sonic like a swarm of angry bees, but steadily remained too slow to catch up.

"Don't you guys at least get some target practice in before trying to pull off something big like this?"

The Hedgehog went on conversationally as the bullet trail whipped around behind him. Fake potted plants, personalized nametags, and expensive wooden desks dissolved into and angry confetti as the blare of the rifles touched them. Sonic laughed aloud.

"I mean, a bank robbery," said the Hedgehog, now at one of his assailant's shoulders. The rifleman took his weapon like a bat and attempted to club Sonic in the head, but the Hedgehog ducked the swing effortlessly, "If _I _were gonna rob a bank I'd at least brush up on some stuff, ya' know, to prepare. You guys are making it easy."

Springing off the ground like a living cannonball, the little hedgehog tucked his knees into his chest and slammed into the masked attacker with every rigid spine on his back. Coming out of the spin, Sonic felt his heels touch the man's chest and forehead as he stepped over the fallen body. Two more identical helmets were glaring at Sonic, their wearers apparently quite stunned.

"Who's next?"

Loud, rapid gun fire!

The spot where Sonic had stood became a crater, but the Hedgehog was gone. The riflemen waded around in the tense silence, waving their weapons about like blind men. The hedgehog was nowhere.

Patter, patter… The rifles twitched their lines across the room, looking for the source of the footsteps. The gunman in the lead gave a worried glance over his shoulder at his accomplice. The other visor glared back, wordless.

Patter, patter…

This time the footsteps would be lost among the thunder of nervous gunfire. The bullets ripped the air and ruined the walls, but their mark was not met. Sonic came from the side, quick like lightning, and his foot met the first one's helmet with a sharp crack. The visor splintered, and the gunman fell.

The one that was left trained his gun and moved to pull the trigger, but that was plenty of time for the hedgehog. Sonic came rushing by, sliding under the gunman's legs, sweeping them out from under him. Stray shots littered the ceiling.

The hedgehog stood up, spun on his heel, and kicked the fallen robber in the top of the head. He let out a whimper.

"That's for trying to shoot me," said Sonic, then he kicked the thing once more, "And that is for making me late. Now, it looks like my work is done here so if you'll excuse me…"

"Not so fast."

Sonic's head pivoted around in dumb surprise. The bank vault behind him was gaping wide, its huge steel hinges swung open. In the cold steel vault doorway, a fourth black-suited figure was standing, and he wasn't holding any gun. In his right hand he grasped the hilt of a katana, blade pointed down like a ribbon of steel at the creature's side. His black helmet and visor were similar to the others, except that two black protrusions like horns flanked either side.

Sonic sized the fourth robber up, and cracked a smile. The hedgehog came up to just about the other things waist when he turned around to face it.

"Sonic the Hedgehog," said the visor, in iron tones.

"I might be… and what are you supposed to be?" said Sonic, smiling, "Darth bunny rabbit, I'm guessing?"

What happened next happened much too quickly for the bank's million dollar video security system to even register as movement within the building. Sonic wasn't ready when the black-clad robber came at him with all the acceleration of a magnetized bullet train blaring through Tokyo city. He backpedaled faster than most people will ever travel forward in their lives, but it wasn't quite enough to avoid a patch of finely shaven quills. The rabbit-eared attacker's katana was like a three-foot long razor blade, and Sonic could hear it slice the wind as it grazed past him.

The Hedgehog had to be even faster when the second swing came, but this time he was ready. The katana swept overhead as Sonic rolled backwards and out of the way. He thought about saying something smart-assed (Uma Thurma you ain't…) but the robber would have none. A scream of focused rage was all the warning Sonic got- he jumped at random and felt a shiver of relief as he felt the Katana sweep safely past his feet without touching him.

Sonic took a few lightning steps forward, skidded on his heels, and stopped. Three seconds had passed.

The robber stood poised on the other end of the lobby, crouched and ready for round two. Sonic narrowed his eyes, crouched low, and prepared to charge.

"So you want to play chicken, huh," said Sonic. His smile remained, but it had become a mask. This bad guy was fast, and he had a really, _really _sharp sword. Well, no reason to show weakness… "Okay, let's play."

The swordsman crouched low, like a coiling spring. It wasn't a textbook runner's motion, but nonetheless the acceleration was superhuman. With all the forceful velocity of a jet engine it went charging… back into the vault.

"Hey…!" Sonic watched it go speeding away from him, helplessly. "Chicken!"

The hedgehog went running into the vault, but he stopped once he got inside. There was only one other exit besides the front door, and it was quite freshly made… Burrowed, in fact, straight up through the ceiling, by something going very fast.

"They make it so damned difficult sometimes," surmised the hedgehog, leaping upward. A few well placed kicks and he came out the roof like a launching missile. The morning sun came blaring from the horizon, and the sky was empty, blue and bright. There was no trace of the robber anywhere.

"Where the hell did he go?" Sonic was starting to lose speed now, about one hundred feet in the air. Shrugging didn't really look right at this altitude. His descent began almost immediately, and before the Hedgehog tucked into the safety of another spin, he caught a glimpse of the coliseum in the distance.

Anyway, so what if they got away. Sonic couldn't be expected to catch everyone all the time. What the hell did they pay the cops for? Today was supposed to be about relaxing anyhow… and he was late besides…

Sonic hit the ground running.

Presently,

"And _that _was my morning," finished Sonic.

Rouge rolled her eyes and sighed, "You think _that's _a bad morning. You ever get caught stuffing arcade machine quarters in your bra?"

"What?"

"Look, I think that this is it…"

They had been walking along the top tier of the stadium, looking for the bird Tails had described to them. Though they saw plenty of people obviously under the misconception of being 'cool', no one fit the description. They did find one lead though.

An old ram pointed them in the direction of the Stadium's only licensed liquor vendor, a bar on the north end called Al's. Sonic pushed one of the large wooden doors inward and was greeted with a breath of smoke. Shrugging at Rouge, the hedgehog ducked into the dimly lit bar.

Inside, they were surrounded by a tacky and haphazard attempt at quaint charm. The bar looked like every TGI Friday's ever- steering wheels, dated photos of Betty Boop, and various images of completely un-pertinent historical events crowded the walls in a way that suggested there weren't walls at all and just tacked together shields of pictures. It was the kind of place that had trumpets on plaques on the walls.

Behind the bar, a gruff looking pig was wiping down mugs. Other than that, the place was barren, save for a few shady-looking folks nursing their drinks privately. It was too early for the real crowd; most people were still out watching the race. Sonic was trying to decipher the room's strange, musty aroma when Rouge came clipping past. The bat took a seat at the bar, leaned in low, and made sure that the barkeep could get a nice bird's-eye view of her whole arsenal. The pig glanced up without stopping in his scrubbing. He snorted approvingly.

"And what can ol' Al get for ya, gorgeous?"

"Martini, no olive, no ice."

"So gin or vodka?"

"Both."

Sonic slunk over to the bar as Al poured Rouge a drink. The old pig seemed to always manage to keep an eye on them, even without looking. There was a subtle twitch to his withered pink ears that let you know that Al, in the time honored tradition of all barkeeps, was a better listener than he let on.

"How about you, son?" said Al's back, "What can I do ya for."

Sonic was not 21, but the laws pertaining to true Mobians were never quite the same as for humans. The furless race tended to be so conservative. That, and as Knuckles put it, they couldn't hold their booze any better than one might expect hairless monkey's to. Anyway, at 18 Sonic was technically underage, but it was so difficult to tell with Hedgehog's that it hardly mattered. Rouge's nearly bursting cleavage spoke for itself. No one was about to deny her alcohol.

"Uh…" Sonic surveyed the wall of inebriation behind the pig. It was an endless array of shelf upon shelf of festively colored rot-gut. Sonic shrugged. "Blueberry daiquiri?"

"Now that's a man's drink," Rouge laughed.

"Hey, shut it."

Al gave a good natured chuckle as he slid Rouge her drink and went to work making Sonic's. "So, what brings a couple of wayfaring woodland critters like yerselves to this little event. Out on a date are ya?"

"He wishes," laughed Rouge.

"I said shut it, didn't I?" barked Sonic, "No, no, we're _just _friends."

"Ah," Al's withered ears perked a bit, "So just out to uh… see the show then?"

"Actually," said Rouge, setting down her now empty glass, "We're looking for someone. I thought maybe you could help us out."

The bat winked, and Sonic thought he could see Al start to sweat. The pig smiled weakly and said, "Well, now I'd like to help you out, uh… little lady… but that all depends on who."

Al slid Sonic his drink. The hedgehog took the frothy blue glass and started in on it, watching in fascination as Rouge continued to play diplomat with the greasy old pig.

"A bird. A black bird."

"Is that so?" Al snorted again, "Lotsa blackbirds around. Lots."

"This one is short, wearing a bomber jacket and sunglasses," replied the bat, pushing her empty glass forward for a refill, "Thinks he's cool."

"Well, I might know who you're talking about," said Al, leaning his chubby elbows upon the bar, "The question is, what's in it for me, little miss?"

The question mark was followed with an accentuating snork of punctuation. Rouge grinned.

"Why, you wouldn't want to make a little lady like me pay for a bit of friendly direction," hissed the bat, "I would appreciate it, ever so much."

Sonic was lost on diplomacy. There weren't multiple lines to read between in Sonic's mind, just the current single beeline to whatever ambiguous objective. He had a runners mind, a point-a-to-point-b mind. He sipped his drink absently and occupied himself with the shit scattered across the walls.

Al looked determined, and a bit of something else less mentionable. His sloppy lips were moist and he licked them before he said,

"Nothin' comes free little lady. Now you wouldn't tease ol' Al, would ya?"

Rouge smiled her fanged little smile, the smile of vampire decadents from centuries past, and kind of laughed.

"Hmm."

She exhaled.

There was a slam which drew the patrons deeper into their mugs. The old barkeep was suddenly and quite painfully pressed by the shirt collar on the bar, and Rouge's elbow was pressed down upon the back of his fat neck like a vice. Sonic's drink went sloshing across the counter, and the hedgehog stood up like a bolt.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Rouge was much, much stronger than she appeared. The great swine struggled what little he could, but moving only intensified the pain of her hold on him.

"I guess I ought to have warned ya, Al," said Rouge, "I'm fucking crazy. Not to mention trained to kill a man- or pig –undetected and surrounded by armed guards if need be. It's a dangerous combination. So, how's about as payment for what you know, I don't make a mess of this here… bar of yours."

"Called himself Hawk," squealed the barkeep, "Wore…. Sunglasses… all the time! Snooping around the airfield… last two, three days..."

Rouge relaxed her grip. Al slammed himself up against the back of the bar, getting as far from the bat as possible. His eyes were wide, deep, and bloodshot, his ragged breath coming out in hoarse snorts.

"What else?"

"Are you insane?" Sonic burst into the conversation. Until then he had been watching unblinkingly, clutching his icy daiquiri in sheer confusion.

"We already went over that, Blue-Boy… you're quick, try to keep pace," she turned back to Al, "Now, as _you _were saying…"

"I don't know anything else, you crazy bitch," shouted the pig.

"Wrong answer, Al," replied Rouge, leaping up on the bar. She drew back her steel-toed boot to kick.

"Wait-" Al threw his arms up like a shield, "He asked a lot of questions. Asked if there were any foxes competing in the air race. He only came in here once though, and I didn't have any answers, now will you get the hell out of my bar?"

"Not so fast," said Rouge, with a nonchalance that made Al's fat bottom lip quiver, "One last thing I want before I'm going anywhere."

There was a dramatic pause William Shatner might be jealous of before Rouge cracked a sly smile and said, "Another martini, and snappy."

Moments later rouge came clipping out of the bar, drink in hand, Sonic stumbling after her in a daze.

"What the hell was that about?" cried the hedgehog, following Rouge's high speed walk through the crowd. Where the crowd seemed to open up for Rouge, it would almost close in on Sonic.

"We need info, he wasn't talking," said Rouge, and then she shrugged, "So I made myself a bit more persuasive."

"You could have at least kept it… civil!"

"You heard me ask him nicely," said Rouge, "He wasn't much of one for courtesy. Besides, what does it matter? We know what we need to know."

"What about when that guy calls security?"

"Relax, speedy," said Rouge, "C'mon, we need to get down to the airfield and start asking around about this Hawk guy. I'm not sure I can put my finger on it, but something smells a little fishy here."

Elsewhere,

Knuckles was staring at the ceiling. It was a high ceiling, domed, grooved, made of some kind of metal, and checkered with dozens and dozens of bright hanging lights. This was, apparently, what the ceiling of an airplane hangar looked like, and Knuckles was at present developing a very committed and personal relationship with this particular hangar ceiling, mostly out of sheer lack of anything more stimulating.

The Echidna rasped out a sigh, mustering just the energy to say, "I'm boooooored…"

Nothing but the clicking of ratchets and the clank of metal on metal- Tails was triple checking the Tornado for sabotage of any kind. The initial checks had all turned up nothing, but, once the fox got to working, his obsessive mind for machines sort of went into over-drive. What was supposed to be a 5-minute diagnostic regularly would become an hour long tune-up, or a week long full system overhaul. Tails built planes the way kids played with legos: no project was a final product so much as a current arrangement of parts.

Knuckles, who knew nothing about planes at all, was laying flat on his back on the Tornado's wing.

"Are you nearly done down there?" whined the Echidna, "I want to go to the snack bar."

"I thought you were broke," said Tails, his head peeking up over the edge of the wing. Half his face was smudged in black grease.

"I am broke," said Knuckles, "I was gonna see if I could get five bucks from you."

"You still owe me like thirty," said Tails, disappearing again. Knuckles rolled over so he could see over the side of the wing. Tails was on the ground, fussing busily with an open hatch on the side of the plane.

"How do you figure?"

"Well," Said Tails, without looking, "First there was that time I gave you five bucks to go to that movie…"

"Oh, yeah, Dark Water," said Knuckles, "Whoo… that sucked."

"And there was the popcorn."

"Uh-huh."

"Renting that awful warriors game for the PS2, that's another five or six bucks…"

"That was sooooo not worth it! Game was harder to control than Rosie O'Donnell's cholesterol level."

"And don't forget about that arcade game, that was ten dollars all on its own."

"And I still couldn't beat Max 500 on heavy…"

"And," said Tails, standing up and dusting off his gloves, "Let's not forget about that bet we had!"

"What bet?"

Tails gave Knuckles a groan, and rolled his eyes. "You know, about Sonic's super hero themed underware."

"Now wait just a minute!" yelled the Echidna, "That's unresolved. You said Batman and I said Incredible Hulk!"

"Right, and it was Batman!"

"No, no, no!" Knuckles somersaulted off the Tornado, landing cleanly on his feet beside the fox. "It was Justice League. That's not the same thing! It wouldn't be much of a league if it was Just Batman."

"Yeah, okay," said Tails, "But Batman is DC, and Hulk is Marvel, therefore I'm closer."

"I'm not so sure that counts!"

A sharp metallic clink rang out, echoing away and getting lost in the distant chatter from the other work stations. Knuckles whirled on his heels, raising his spiked mitts defensively. The shadow of a gray tail whipped around just out of view as the patter of light footsteps echoed around the Tornado.

"Stay here!" Knuckles darted around the side of the plane, punching the air in anticipation. Tails shrugged. Only slightly nervous, the fox opted to turn around and resume with the Tornado. He had only made it 180 degrees before his eyes caught sight of something unbelievable.

She was standing there in overalls and a baseball cap, a length of wild blond hair tamed back into a ponytail. Blue eyes shined at him like cheerful sapphires above a sharp, canine smile. The ashy colored wolf was grinning at him with the most gorgeous face he'd ever seen. He was about three inches shorter than her, so he felt like a child when she offered him her hand.

"Maya Moonshine," said the girl, " Pleasure to meet you! This your plane?"

Tails could only gape. He took the girls hand- it was soft, he could tell even through his gloves –and shook it slowly. They parted, and it was followed with dead silence.

Finally, the wolf girl laughed, "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"Aha!"

Knuckles appeared from behind the tornado, pointing a spiky mitt at Maya accusingly.

"Gotcha! Now start talking- what do you want with Tails?"

"Who?" said Maya, "I don't know what you're talking about. I was just coming over to see who's plane this was. It's really fantastic! I mean, look at it! This thing screams speed, and that's not just the paint job."

The wolf took a step back so she could get a better look at the plane. She paced around it while she spoke, "The aerodynamics are flawless, the design is a classic but… what are all these extra flaps and hinges? I'm betting this thing has more than a few tricks up its sleeve. And what's with that gem in the nose of the propeller? Is that just aesthetic?"

"Do you know this girl?" Knuckles whispered. Tails gave him a silent and pathetic look. The foxes white cheeks were flushed and his eyes were turned down in a solemn awkwardness. His ears flattened as he shrugged.

Knuckles looked at the girl. She was still circling the plane, babbling like a lost child. Understanding dawned on Knuckles like a late sunrise. This wasn't the person who'd threatened Tails, quite the contrary… His interest piqued, the Echidna started in with a grin.

"Oh, yeah, this is Tails' here's plane!" said Knuckles, loudly, "He built it all himself. Real genius, this guy."

"I thought this was your plane!" said Maya, coming back to Tails. The fox wanted to curl up and die. The girl was beautiful, and she kept talking to him, and whenever he tried to open his mouth nothing but warm air came out. Her eyes were like ice, cold and blue and beautiful. Looking at her was different than looking at Rouge, looking at Maya was electric.

"So your name is Tails huh?" she said, smiling, "Well, I have to tell you, this thing is one piece of work. You ought to be proud!"

"Oh, he is!" announced Knuckles, "I can vouch for that, this plane has saved our lives more than once."

"Your lives?" Maya's eyes widened, "Really?"

"Oh, yeah," said Knuckles, "We outrun explosions in this thing like once a month. Part of the job really."

"Job?"

"Oh, you don't recognize us?" said Knuckles, striking a pose, "We're only Station squares most premiere professional heroes. Let me make a more formal introduction. My name is Knuckles T. Echidna, and this here's my buddy Miles Prower, A.K.A. Tails."

"Maya Moonshine," said Maya, "Great to meet you both, especially you Tails. Hey, I'd really like to talk with you about your plane, if you're up for it… you can talk right?"

"You're a mechanic?" said Tails all at once. His own voice made him jump, he was so nervous. Maya nodded enthusiastically which gave the fox chills.

"Sure am!" said Maya, "I work on the airfield. Most of these contestants come in bragging about their machines, but they end up being nothing but glorified crop-dusters. It's really amazing to see something so innovative out here."

"Thanks!" said Tails, blushing madly, "The design wasn't always so efficient. I went through several earlier versions that all ended up being a little too soft for the conditions I was operating in."

"Like explosions?"

Tails laughed, "Yeah, actually, sometimes. And gale force winds, gunfire, space travel, tsunamis, concentrated plasma weaponry, chaos energy… hoo boy. You learn to make some pretty tough alloys when your plane gets its wings torn off every other time you go out."

"Sounds like you lead a pretty exciting life!"

"No, not really," said Tails, "I guess we sort of just get caught up in things. It's hard to avoid when you're friends with Sonic."

"Sonic?" said Maya, "Who's Sonic?"

"You mean you…" Tails trailed off, "He's just my best friend. He gets me into some trouble, but he's like my older brother."

"Trouble like explosions?"

Tails blushed, his eyes quickly finding his feet. Was she making fun of him? A little,

but she was smiling so he guessed it must have been okay.

"Well," he said, "Yeah..."

Their eyes met. She gave him the most stern look he'd seen her with yet. For a brief moment, he could detect a hint of something primal- something canine -about the young ulvinne... and he knew he liked it.

Then they both smiled, and quickly caved into tearful laughter.

"Hey," said Tails, without thinking, "Want to go up to the bleachers and get a chili-dog?"

"Chili-cheese?"

"Extra onion."

"Your treat?"

"Totally."

They left. They didn't really notice Knuckles tagging along behind. Tails knew that he only had a very minute amount of time before the race began, but... there was something about Maya that made him willing to take the risk. Sure, it sounded cliche, but at 17 these things often do.

Besides, Tails knew none could deny that anything was worth seeing that alluring feminine swagger of Maya's hips and bushy silver tail as she led him out of the hangar with one nimble mechanic's hand.

And let's not forget the girls,

"And so he puts the dress in the dryer with towels!"

Amy gasped in terror.

"He didn't!" declared the little pink hedgehog, her face cross with indignance.

Sally rolled her eyes and presented the back of her hand in that age-old, limp-wristed gesture of statement that this author can only describe as meaning, "nigga please".

"You'd think that, wouldn't you? You'd think he'd have the sense not to wash a black silk dress with white towels, but I guess that's too much to ask for. Anyway, now the whole thing is covered in these little tiny white spots and they won't come off..."

"Did you try using a lint roller?"

"I must have gone over it a hundred times over," the princess shrugged, "Ah well. I just went and got a new one, but it's the principle of the thing really."

"I swear," replied Amy, "Men have no idea how to do laundry."

They had been sitting together for about an hour now, with no sign of the others. Initially, Amy had tried her best to maintain a shield of hostility, but in the end the hedgehog's gift of gab got the better of her. It was annoying to Amy, on some private level, that she was unable to keep herself from talking to Sally, but what annoyed the hedgehog even more was this: she actually was enjoying herself.

Sure, Sally acted like a spoiled rotten princess alot of the time- polite though she was -but the only difference between her and Amy really was that Sally was rich and Amy wasn't. Well, if you didn't count the somewhat obvious age and physical differences.

"Oh, look," said Sally, "I think that a band is setting up."

On the big astro-turf field below, a stage had been erected and a somber looking dalmation with a guitar was fiddling with a microphone. Near the back, where towers of big black speakers framed the stage, a very pretty young cheetah was fitting on a headset. Amy was watching her fix her blond tresses more comfortably around the headset when she heard a voice from behind which made her cringe.

"I do hope they get on with this thing in a timely fashion. I haven't got all day."

"Eggman!" the hegdhog whirled around in her seat. Sure enough, several seats back from her, and taking up more space than anyone should on their own, Dr. Ivo Robotniks bewhiskered face and bulbous nosed glared down at her. The startled hedgehog instantly dove behind Sally.

"Oh, wonderful," sighed Robotnik, "Just what I need to make the day better. The blue-rat's little pink floozie."

"What are you doing here, you...?" Amy barked from over Sally's shoulder. The princess was completely bewildered.

"You _what_?" said Robotnik, "Why I'm here is none of your business! I'm not breaking any laws, I have as much right to be here as you do."

"You destroy this city on a yearly basis!"

"Ah, yes, but I also pay my taxes."

"Not so fast, Egghead!" there was a cobalt flash, and a gust of wind, and then Sonic was there on the bleacher between Amy and robotnik, Rouge cradled somewhat awkwardly in his arms. The bat punched Sonic in the chest and he dropped her.

"What the hell was that all about, blue-boy! I'm not so helpless I can't travel on my own, you don't need to just pick me up and dash off like I'm Scarlet bloody O'Hera."

"Okay, Eggman, whatever you're up to, it isn't going to work!" spat Sonic, ignoring Rouge entirely. He was in no mood to be scolded for anything right now. Things had changed, Eggman was here, this was no longer a casual visit to see Tails race, now Sonic was at work.

"If you're referring to my attempt to sit here peacefully and enjoy the show, then I'll be damned if you haven't thwarted me again you little pest. Now if you please, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to play with the whole petting zoo later, just get out of my sight!"

"Nuh-uh, I don't buy it," said Sonic, "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me the truth! Were you the one who sent that bird to sabotage Tails?"

"Bird?" Robotnik scoffed, "You've been out of your burrow for far too long, rodent... the sun is beginning to get to you, I think."

"So you being here is just a coincidence?" yelled Sonic, "I'm supposed to believe that?"

"The world doesn't revolve around you, Hedgehog," replied Robotnik, sternly, "Do not be so full of yourself as to think that my every action is dictated by you. Your presence here is unfortunate at the least, and annoying at the most, but other than that it has nothing to do with me."

"Hey, Sonic!" Knuckles came skidding down the bleachers, grinding on the corner of the flat metal benches and throwing sparks. The shouts of angry and freshly burned colliseum patrons followed him. "Sonic, we got trouble!"

"I know!" said Sonic, "I'm staring right at him!"

"No, Sonic! Look behind you!"

"Huh?" The hedgehog glanced over his shoulder. Up on the cross-beams, high above the stage, something was shining in the light of the sun, light a bright red star. Sonic squinted to get a better look, but he hadn't needed to...

There was an odd electric noise, like a low rolling hum, and then he was there, standing on the air in front of them like a dark vision of the past. Spiked quills frozen in the rigid waves of power rolling off of him, a thing that looked very much like Shadow the Hedgehog held a blood red ruby out in front of his nose, and smiled at it the way conspirating murderers might exchange glances before a kill.

Sonic and Knuckles looked at each other, and then at Robotnik.

The Eggman shrugged.

"He's _not_ mine."

To be continued... ! GASP!


End file.
